How I Healed My Relationship with Men, the Masculine, and God

Healing my relationship with the masculine has been one of the most powerful “holy shift” experiences of my life. It wasn’t just about mending wounds from my earthly experiences with men, but also about rebuilding trust in the divine masculine and, ultimately, God.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from the masculine—whether due to personal experiences, societal conditioning, or spiritual struggles—you’re not alone. In this post, I’m opening up about how my relationship with masculine energy in all its forms shifted, and how this healing brought me back to trust, faith, union, and harmony.

The Wound: Questioning the Masculine
As a child, my father’s absence left a deep imprint on my heart. Being a military family, we often faced long stretches of time without him—six months, sometimes a year. While his work was noble and purposeful, to my young heart, it felt like I wasn’t a priority.

This created feelings of unreliability and neglect that extended beyond just my earthly father. In my and in many of my clients experiences, masculine energy is intrinsically connected from the earthly father to the father in heaven. Therefore as a child I began questioning larger forces, including religion and God:

• Why does it feel like God always there for me?

• Can I trust the masculine to be physically and emotionally present and show up for me?

• Am I not important enough to be seen, held, and cherished?

These early experiences shaped my understanding of the masculine as something distant, unavailable, and even unsafe.

The Healing: Rebuilding Trust in the Masculine
Years later, as I was deep on my healing journey diving deep into the somatic layers, I realized these feelings weren’t just about my father—they were tied to my relationship with the divine masculine and God at large. The masculine, both in human and Divine forms, felt like something I couldn’t fully trust or rely on. Instead of using the word “God” I used words like “Universe” or “Goddess” because I had religious wounding around the word “God.” But slowly, through intentional healing work, everything began to shift.

Here’s how:

1. Seeing the Masculine in a New Light
   I started recognizing the ways in which the masculine had been there for me all along. From the protection of a stable home to the unseen ways my father provided for our family, I began to see his love in action, even if it didn’t look the way I once craved.

2. Detaching God from Trauma
   My relationship with God had been shaped by my negative experiences with organized religion. By separating the Divine from those painful associations and the people in them, I allowed myself to rediscover a God who is unconditionally loving, present, and trustworthy.

3. Developing My Inner Masculine
   Through inner work, I cultivated a healthy relationship with my own masculine energy. I began setting healthy boundaries, creating structure for my life and business to flow, and trusting myself to show up even when I didn’t feel like it. This inner alignment created a foundation of safety, balance and stability within me.

4. Seeing the Best in Men
   Shifting my perspective on men as a whole was crucial. Instead of focusing on where men fell short, I began looking for their virtues—their strength, devotion, and ability to love in ways that were unique to their nature.

The Result: Trust and Union
Through these shifts, I found harmony not only with the masculine but also within myself and in my relationships with men. Trusting the masculine—whether in men, God, or my inner energy—has allowed me to receive love, life and others more fully. I now trust that the divine masculine and God is always present, supporting and providing for me in ways that align with my highest good.

This healing has brought me into greater union with God, men, and myself.

Conclusion:
Healing your relationship with the masculine is a deep journey of trust, surrender, love, acceptance, and inner healing. Whether it’s through reconciling father wounds, redefining your connection to God, or connecting with your inner masculine energy, the process opens you to deeper love, union, stability, and harmony.

If you’re navigating similar challenges, know this: the masculine is here for you. Sometimes, it’s a matter of shifting your perspective, softening your heart, and allowing yourself to receive the love that is ever present.

Ready to heal your relationship to the masculine on the deepest somatic layers? I’d love to support you in this sacred restoration process. Click the link below to learn more about how I can support you in my private 1 on 1 women’s coaching.

With love and grace,
Melissa