What to Do When He’s Not Moving the Relationship Forward (aka Proposing or Ready for Marriage)

Hey, love! If you’re here, chances are you’re feeling frustrated and stuck in your relationship. Maybe you’re yearning for the next step—an engagement, marriage, or even just a deeper commitment—but your partner isn’t moving things forward. Meanwhile, it feels like everyone else around you is hitting milestones: engagements, weddings, babies... and you’re left thinking, “When will it be my turn?!”

First of all, I see you. Your feelings are valid, and it’s completely natural to feel this way when you desire something so deeply. Let’s dive into why this might be happening and, more importantly, what you can do about it.

Why You Feel This Way

When you see your friends or loved ones celebrating engagements and weddings, it’s normal to feel a pang of jealousy or sadness. You want to be happy for them, but at the same time, it’s hard not to wonder why it feels so much harder for you.

You might even catch yourself comparing—thinking, “We’ve been together longer,” or “I’m such a catch, so why isn’t he ready yet?” These thoughts are valid, but they can also lead to unnecessary pressure on yourself and your relationship.

The truth? Your desires for marriage and partnership are beautiful. They’re not “too much” or “needy”—they’re real, honest, and worth honoring.

What to Do When He’s Not Moving the Relationship Forward

If your partner isn’t ready to take the next step, it’s time to get clear on where you stand, what you desire, and how to move forward—whether together or apart.

1. Have an Honest, Vulnerable Conversation

Create a safe space to express your feelings and ask questions:

• “What do you need to feel ready for marriage or engagement?”

• “What fears come up for you when you think about this next step?”

• “What would it take for you to be 100% sure about moving forward?”

Speak from your heart. For example, you might say:
"I love you so much, and I deeply desire to spend the rest of my life with you. It’s been hard for me to see others moving forward while I’m waiting for us to get to that place. I want to understand what’s holding you back and how we can navigate this together."

When you share your feelings authentically, it invites your partner into a deeper connection and helps you both get on the same page.

2. Stand Firm in Your Desires

It’s tempting to play the role of the “perfect partner” to avoid conflict, but men are drawn to authenticity, not perfection. Standing firm in your desires and being true to yourself is magnetic and empowering.

If your partner senses you’re bending over backward to accommodate him while ignoring your own needs, it may create dissonance and distance instead of intimacy. Show him your strength by being clear about what you want, without ultimatums or resentment.

3. See His Response as Information

How your partner responds to these conversations will tell you a lot. If he’s willing to open up and work through his fears, that’s a promising sign. However, if he shuts down or consistently avoids the topic, it may indicate that he’s not the right person for you.

You deserve a partner who is as excited and committed to building a life with you as you are with him. If he’s not meeting you halfway, it might be time to reassess whether this relationship aligns with your long-term goals.

4. Choose Yourself First

As much as you love him, your desires for commitment and marriage are too important to compromise. Waiting indefinitely for someone else to “be ready” can leave you feeling stuck and resentful.

It’s a bold and brave step to prioritize your own happiness, but it’s essential. Trust that if this relationship isn’t the one, someone else will come into your life who is ready to meet your needs with enthusiasm, love, joy, and purpose.

In Conclusion

Navigating this stage of your relationship can be tough, but it’s also an opportunity for growth—both individually and as a couple. Have the hard conversations, stand firm in your desires, and trust the process.

If your partner is willing to step up, beautiful! If not, remember that choosing yourself is always the right answer. You deserve a love that aligns with your deepest desires.

Need More Support?

If you’re struggling to figure out your next step or want to take your relationship to the next level, I’d love to help. I offer couples coaching and 1-on-1 coaching for women in the realms of love, intimacy, and relationships.

Click the link below to learn how we can work together to create the life and love you desire and deserve.

xo,
Melissa